Sunday, March 23, 2008

Felting




A rant of sorts- the last paragraph is about the felting if you don't want to read the rant.My creating came to a screaming halt on Tuesday night when we experienced another issue with my middle daughter who does not live at home anymore. This time it was the foster parents who experienced the full brunt off some of the problems we had been experiencing prior to her leaving home. There are many many issues surrounding my daughter, and the last eighteen months have been filled with despair, grief and hope, as she was starting to come home again once in awhile. My belief is that my daughter suffers from dissociative identity disorder. All of us dissociate in normal life- for example day dreaming, driving but not remembering a section of the road, getting lost in a book- for some people these experiences are much more poignant and actually dissociate into different states.It is also known in situations where mothers of a troubled child lost a pregnancy or child immediately prior to the birth of the troubled child that mother often sends very mixed messages to the next born baby- particularly if they suffer from post-natal depression as well and that these children are more prone to dissociation. Convincing the "experts" has been a totally demoralising experience- from how can I know, I am not experienced, I am not an "expert " ( a lot of my legal experience in my lawyer days was actually researching post traumatic stress disorder- which also has dissociation as part of its cluster of symptons) to the bald statement "that she is too young". However the overwhelming preponderance of literature seems to point to the fact that it emerges in teen/adolescent years. I have had people roll their eyes in meetings at me and even asserting that my insistence that there is something "wrong" other than recalcitrant teenage behaviour is tantamount to abuse. The Authority we are dealing with has seen the coming and going of 5 case workers since my daughter has been in their care- each time we are dealing with someone totally new, often inexperienced and often not even a person who has experienced parenthood let alone teenagers. To say it has been a nightmare is an understatement. To say it has been a nightmare for my other two children is also an understatement- but somehow the authority we are dealing with seems to be unable to answer my questions as to what are the rights of my other two children when all they insist on is the rights of the one child? My daughter actually disappeared on Tuesday night- I went to the authority to meet yet another "new" case worker on Wednesday morning, was told that the liaison arrangements I had with the foster parents were inapporpriate from a case worker who had not even read the file ( excuse me we have not had a case worker for the last 6 weeks- so we have had to make it up as we go) and that they would ring me and tell me what had happened. No phone calls before Friday and of course now it is easter. Due to the fact that I do have a relationship with the foster parents I know she was found and she is safe- however the authority has not thought to tell me, the mother of this child, this information. Had I not had a relationship with the foster parents I would have been stressed out all easter with the consequential effect on my other children, worrying and sleeplessness.

I did do some washing machine felting to simply do at least something- for all of you who felt this is probably not very exciting- but it was a bit of a revelation to me- of course it is a learn from your mistakes technique without doubt. The first image is of felt I felted too much- thought the texture is rather nice, the knobbles of the underlying wool coming through nicely. The second attempt was what about trying muslin??? It's good for creating sausages- I should have realised the weave was too loose. The third is more as it should be but I think it's a bit too "holy". Anyway my measly attemtps were inspired by Irene van der Wolf's book "Vilten in de Wasmachine" which I purchased last trip to Holland. The ISBN is 978-90-90224-28-2. Just as well I had felting wool on hand!
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15 comments:

ann vanherle said...

lieve dijanne
Kan je onmacht als moeder voelen. Je kunst is een krachtmiddel. Denk aan je.

AnneJeu said...

Je had nog niet genoeg zorgen????
Sterkte maar weer!! Je viltexperimenten zijn overigens best geslaagd...
Hopelijk vindt je genoeg afleiding in je werk.

Laura said...

Dijanne, I can only wish you lots of strength to cope with the frustrations of dealing with inadequate authorities. I can absolutely imagine the stifling effect this has on your work, but I agree with Ann: your work is your strength. Thinking of you,
Laura

Kristin L said...

5 case workers in 18 months? -- yikes!! Good thing you DO have a decent relationship with the foster parents.

Good thing that you can get lost in your art too. It sounds like you could use the creative release. I really like the first and last felting experiments.

Yvonne said...

I like your felting, especially the last picture. A lot of troubles/bubbles, but there is something shimmering trough.
Wish you strenght to battle this period in your life.

Stitching with Schnauzer and Siamese said...

As Annejeu said... thinking of you.

Hoping things improve fast for you and your children.

BestWishes
Maggie

Karen said...

Having had a child that we chose to send to a wilderness school and boarding school for 7 months, and having another child who graduated with a degree in social work and only lasted one year in that system because of the work load and lack of support from superiors, I can tell you to keep doing what you think is the right thing. Your instincts will get you thru this. Most of all, take care of yourself.

Shirley Goodwin said...

Mothers have long been rubbished when they tried to get help for children they knew there was something wrong with - I have no doubt that you've managed to pin-point a likely cause. How distressing to have this happen as things were starting to look better with your daughter.

Hugs,
Shirley

katelnorth said...

Your felting is lovely, knobbly or not. As for your daughter, I am glad to hear she was found and I hope that you will be able to find someone who will at least consider your views as to what's wrong - I have friends with children who have issues who tried for years to get anyone in authority to recognise that there was more going on than just bad behaviour, but several of them have been successful in the end, so as depressing as it might seem, perseverance can pay off. And good on you for remembering to think how your other kids are being affected - I think the authorities often forget how hard any kind of family issue is for the kids who aren't actually "the problem". And by the way, gorgeous felting :)

Monique 78 said...

Dijanne, if this can help you, I support you with friendly thoughts.
Monique

Frances said...

Dijanne, thinking of you
best thoughts Frances,

louie said...

That's an interesting post. I've found a website that can be pretty handy for overcoming post traumatic stress. Might want to give it a try at http://www.howtorelievestress.org

ina klugt said...

Lieve Dijanne,
Ik sluit me bij alle goede wensen aan: je kunt je afvragen: wanneer is de emmer nou eindelijk vol.......... Want op een gegeven moment houdt het gewoon op. Veel sterkte, we denken aan jullie.
Ina.

Aussie Jo said...

I love your felting, the pieces are very organic.
Stay strong and good luck dealing with those bureauocrats!!!
I am dealing with a sister with paranoia at the moment so I can sympathise with what you are going through.

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