Wednesday, June 05, 2013

Walking

I was up in the river country last weekend at Cohuna teaching the Gypsy Blanket class at Cohuna Country Quilters Weekend. I had a full class and my goodness they achieved a lot. It is not readily apparent form the photo but  a lot of stitching had gone in, and one of the reasons the works  look so vibrant is because the stitching had gone in. It was a good weekend, and a lot of rain fell on the Saturday and it was much needed, it had been the first decent rain for quite some time.

Since being back it has been hard to get motivated, there are times when the outlook is so bleak that  it destroys all motivation, and regardless of what my reasoning self says to the emotional distraught self , and the good things that the reasoning self knows that  I am and should be grateful for, I still feel desperate. I have been searching for paid work, with one interview ( I got the job but could not take it as I no longer was a student at the Gordon) for a long time now and last week the city where I live lost a lot of jobs due to the Ford factory shutting down- such a thing  impacts heavily on the population and the job situation which is not good in any case. The other thing is, I am emotionally exhausted by picking myself up all the time. I have been doing this solitary business and work for nearly 20 years now, everything is dependent on my motivation , my ideas and the ability to turn them into something that is marketable, but one thing that really struck me on the long drive home was that i really miss the company of people ( it was good to be with like minded people last weekend)- I work alone , at home and  the interaction I get comes  mostly from the internet ,when I teach or attend guild.I have looked for studio space outside home but  there really  is very little available and most of it is beyond my means.

I do walk with a neighbour  to help clear the head and get some exercise as I have found this really does work ( but it isn't at the moment). But  essentially I am going through a period of procrastination or stagnation ( I am not sure which) which  is a necessary for the creation of new work but at the moment feels like I am not doing anything.Even researching does not feel like work though it is and is necessary.It will pass- I know this too and after my daughter heads off to university early next year I will find a place much cheaper to rent or perhaps I will go and live in my shed- after all I have done that before ......

Anyway some little treasures from my walk this morning........ I seem to have developed a passion for succulents.






5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I don't normally comment on blogs but you touched my heart! I guess you know that there are many of us out there, living and trying to create in our own solitary spaces.
I love reading your blog and seeing what you have been creating. I live in a regional area and can't easily get to classes that are offered but would love to attend any or all of yours!
Your work is fabulous. Thanks for keeping me inspired!

Laura Liebenberg said...

Your muse will come again. I'm sure she's lurking in the background. Hugs and thinking of you. Xx

LC said...

This touched me too... and I know just how you feel about alone and needing like-minded companionship. Faith in an ever-present God helps, but we need fellowship with one another too. Take a day off now and find someone to eat lunch with, go shopping with, or just visit with. There are many lonely people who would love to see your face...

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Dijanne Cevaal said...

Thank you for your comments- I am not good at responding to comments but I do appreciate them! it is on my list of things to get better at.